Bond is now ready to actually meet Goldfinger. And what
better way that challenging him to a game of golf? I don’t know, maybe Bond
misheard his name as “Golf-inger”. So Bond goes to the golf course and meets
Goldfinger, who is wearing an atrocious brown suit.
They only exchange a few words, but Goldfinger’s expression
makes it clear that he recognises Bond’s sultry Scottish tones. Bond, knowing
that Goldfinger is a gambler, offers to play for money; specifically, a
shilling a hole. This is the equivalent of 5p, or about 7 or 8 cents. Last of
the big spenders, huh?
Bond steps outside and sees-
This is Oddjob, Goldfinger’s Korean manservant. He’s mute
(although capable of going “Ah!”) and is notably wearing a bowler hat, which he
rarely takes off. I wonder why- oh, who am I kidding. Oddjob is one of the most
recognisable Bond villains ever, so I’m going to assume you know exactly why he
likes his hat so much.
(A fact you may not know is that, in the novel,
Oddjob ate a cat. Not stereotyping Koreans there at all, no.)
And now, as befits an action-packed thriller, Bond plays one
of the most fast-paced, adrenaline pumped games ever: golf. Okay, so it’s not
the most exciting set piece. Don’t worry, though; never again will a major part
of a Bond film be based around a slow-moving, nonathletic game.
Anyways, the golf game. Goldfinger is wearing an even worse
outfit, showing that being a Bond villain does not automatically equal good
fashion sense. Bond livens up the game by showing Goldfinger the bar of gold,
and Goldfinger promptly raises the stakes: they’ll play for the bar of gold,
worth £5000. Bond, showing his usual disregard for government property, agrees.
During the game, he catches Goldfinger cheating (Oddjob
drops a ball in a favourable position when Goldfinger’s ball lands in the
rough) and decides to turn the tables. He switches Goldfinger’s ball with
another he finds on the course. Goldfinger fails to notice the switch, and wins
the game with the wrong ball, which invalidates the win – meaning Bond has won.
Goldfinger, needless to say, is not happy.
Later, as Oddjob loads up Goldfinger’s car (a Rolls-Royce
Phantom III, to show off how ridiculously wealthy Goldfinger is) Bond slips the
tracking device Q gave him into the boot.
Goldfinger arrives, and makes it clear to Bond that he knows
what Bond is up to. Bond plays dumb, so Goldfinger decides to show Bond just
who he’s dealing with. He gives Oddjob a nod. Oddjob removes his hat and flings
it at a nearby statue. The hat whizzes through the air and:
It takes the head clean off it! The hat lands upside-down,
showing that the brim is lined with steel. So essentially, Oddjob’s hat is the
world’s most lethal Frisbee. Goldfinger, satisfied that he has made an impression,
amiably hands over the £5000 and departs. Bond immediately switches on the GPS
tracking and follows.
Goldfinger’s destination is Geneva, Switzerland. Bond lands
there and follows the GPS guidance in his Aston. Along a mountain road, he is
suddenly overtaken by a pretty young thing in a Mustang. He has to fight his
urge to chase her down, which, being Bond, is not easy.
Along the road, Goldfinger stops to buy lunch from a
roadside stall. Bond, higher up the mountain road, stops and gets out, watching
Goldfinger from afar. But someone’s watching the watcher.
It’s the girl in the Mustang. She fires a shot from her
rifle, narrowly missing Bond. Having screwed up, the girl flees in her car, but
Bond is after her, pleased to have an excuse to chase the girl. But how to
disable the car? Quite simple:
Tyre-shredders concealed in the wheels! It rips into the
Mustang and bursts the two wheels on this side, sending it veering off the
road, where it crashes. Bond then innocently runs over to help the damsel in
distress, tyre spikes safely hidden. He claims that the damage must have been
caused by a factory defect. Then he offers her a lift, naturally. Bond, when
your pickup technique involves destroying a girl’s car and possibly killing or
seriously injuring her, don’t you think you’re going a bit far?
Bond and the traumatised girl head off in the Aston. Bond is
curious as to why she took a shot at him, but is more than willing to chat her
up first. He asks her name, and she tells him it’s Tilly Soames. Bond glances
at her luggage in the back.
T.M., huh? Bond recognises it as a rifle case, and points
this out. Tilly deflects the question, claiming they contain her ice skates.
Bond presses her further, but she instead tells him to pull over at a garage.
While she’s talking to the mechanic, Bond checks his GPS. According to it, he
seems to have passed Goldfinger’s car. Goldfinger must have stopped somewhere
behind him. Tilly returns. Bond offers to give her a lift to a nearby hotel,
but she declines and leaves.
Bond, now free to return to his mission, follows the signal
and finds a large factory up in the mountains. AURIC ENTERPRISES is emblazoned
on the side.
Clearly, this is Goldfinger’s base of operations. Time to do
a bit of old-fashioned spying.
Bond waits until dark and sneaks into the compound. He finds
a vantage point and peeks inside the factory.
It’s a smelting plant, where Goldfinger melts down his gold.
Not only that, but workers (all of whom are Chinese) are busy dismantling the
Rolls-Royce and melting it down. Goldfinger walks in, accompanied by a Chinese
gentleman called Mr Ling. He explains that this is how he does his smuggling –
the bodywork of his Rolls is in fact loaded with gold, allowing him to simply
drive it from Britain to Switzerland, where it is melted down into ingots. So,
the question of how he’s been smuggling gold out of the country has been
answered; case closed, right?
Not quite. There’s one curious fragment of conversation that
Bond overhears. Goldfinger refers to something called “Operation Grand Slam”.
Well, that doesn’t in any way sound ominous.
For now, Bond decides to get out of there. He returns to his
spot overlooking the factory. Pausing to have a sit down, he realises someone
is stealthily creeping up on him. He hides, and a shadowy figure emerges, armed
with a rifle. The figure adopts a sniping position.
Bond sneaks up behind and grabs the sniper. Unfortunately,
this brings the barrel of the rifle into contact with a hidden tripwire,
alerting Goldfinger’s men. Bond rips off the sniper’s hood to reveal:
Tilly! Bond asks her what the hell she’s doing here. Tilly
responds that she’s trying to kill Goldfinger, as he had killed her sister.
Bond suddenly realises that T.M. = Tilly Masterson, sister of Jill. Turns out
her previous shot at Bond was actually aimed at Goldfinger, and she just has a
terrible aim.
They have no time to talk further, however, as Goldfinger’s
goons arrive and begin shooting at them. They run to the Aston and zoom off.
Time to see what this baby can do! Goldfinger’s men are in hot pursuit,
shooting at them. Bond activates the smokescreen.
Blinded, the thugs career off the road and into a tree.
Remarkably, the car does not burst into flames. Another car full of baddies is
still chasing them, so Bond deploys the oil slick.
The pursuing car loses control and hurtles off a cliff,
exploding on the way down (of course). Bond realises that the road they’re
following comes to a dead end at another cliff edge, and brings the car to a
screeching halt. A third car pulls up behind them. Bond raises the rear
bulletproof screen and takes cover, telling Tilly to be ready to run into the
forest.
Bond takes a few potshots at the goons, and then tells Tilly
to run for it. Unfortunately, the secret weapon has arrived: Oddjob. He takes
aim and throws his hat. It hits its mark, breaking Tilly’s neck, killing her
instantly. Poor Tilly, we hardly knew ye. She had a more expansive role in the
novel, where she was only killed after she discovered she was a lesbian.
Indeed. And this won’t be the last time lesbianism comes up in this film,
either.
Bond, stunned by Tilly’s death, is captured by Oddjob and
co. Rather unwisely, they allow him to drive the Aston, with an armed mook in
the passenger seat. Bond villains never did make the best decisions.
The Aston and the remaining cars head down to the gate to
the smelting plant. The convoy stops at a barrier, where a Little Old Lady
comes out and lets them in. She curtseys to Bond, the picture of harmlessness.
After all, what danger could a Little Old Lady present?
The convoy moves into the factory grounds. Bond casually
rests his hand on the gearstick. You can see where this is going. Bond suddenly
shifts into gear and drives off, away from the bad guys. The thug in the car
with him gets uppity, so Bond deals with him in a suitable fashion.
Wahey! The hapless goon is sent hurtling out of the roof of
the car. Bond reverses and tries to bust out of the plant, only to find that he
seriously underestimated Little Old Lady. Because she comes out toting a motherfucking
MP40. She riddles the car with bullets and Bond is forced to try elsewhere.
That’s what you get for messing with the Little Old Lady!
Bond drives around the factory grounds, looking for an exit
and dodging Goldfinger’s men at every turn. Eventually, he finds himself
driving up a narrow alleyway. Up ahead, he sees the headlights of another car
approaching. There’s nowhere to run now. He tries firing the machine guns at
it, but to no avail.
It’s a game of Chicken, and Bond breaks first. He veers into
the wall and crashes. Another car pulls up behind him, and Oddjob gets out. He
looks up and smiles at Bond’s opponent: a mirror.
Oddjob opens the door and Bond falls out, unconscious. Fade
to black.
The next scene is a rather famous one, so here is the whole
thing in all its glory:
Bond comes to in a most unfortunate position: strapped to a
table with Goldfinger looming over him. A group of scientists, including Mr
Ling, are nearby. Goldfinger addresses Bond as “007”, telling him that he knows
who he is. He then casually explains that the large device looming over him is
an industrial laser, designed to cut through solid metal.
Oh dear. Goldfinger then has the laser switched on, and it
begins slowly inching its way up between Bond’s legs. Oh dear.
Goldfinger makes smalltalk with Bond about how he basically has a boner for
gold, and all the while the laser is getting closer to Bond’s most precious
asset. Bond tries to play it cool – not easy under the circumstances – but
Goldfinger makes it clear that this is not just a demonstration; he’s going to
let the laser go all the way. Oh shit.
Goldfinger casually wanders off. And then we get what is
pretty much the most famous dialogue in any Bond film, ever:
BOND: Do you expect me to talk?
GOLDFINGER: No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!
Not for nothing is Goldfinger considered one of the best
Bond villains ever. Sure, he may be about to castrate someone with a laser, but
he’s just so damn awesome.
Bond panics and tries to bluff Goldfinger that, if Bond
dies, 008 will replace him, armed with everything Bond knows. Goldfinger
replies that Bond knows nothing. Bond is getting really worried now, but he
remembers the phrase he heard Goldfinger mention before: Operation Grand Slam.
Goldfinger pauses, unsure. By now, the laser is uncomfortably close to Bond’s
groin, and Bond – and every man in the audience – is squirming in fear.
And then Goldfinger calls Bond’s bluff, telling him that he
must have overheard him talking to Ling, and that the phrase could mean nothing
to him. As a last gambit, Bond asks him if he can take the chance. Goldfinger
hesitates for an agonising moment. By now, there are only seconds to go until
Bond loses his valuables.
And then, at the last second, Goldfinger gestures and the
laser is switched off. Bond, and men worldwide, heave a sigh of relief.
Goldfinger agrees with Bond that he is worth more to him alive. One of his men,
Kisch, approaches Bond.
He has a gun.
And he shoots Bond at point-blank.
Fade to black again.
Screencaps courtesy of
screenmusings.org
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