A Game of Chess (From Russia with Love, 1963)

After Dr No turned out to be a success, Broccoli and Saltzman knew they were on to something good, and so wasted no time in starting work on the second Bond film. They had double the budget of the previous film, had the basic plot elements established, and had already got Sean Connery. But how to choose which book to adapt next? The answer came from an unlikely source.

John F. Kennedy, then the president of the United States, was known to be a bit of a fan of Ian Fleming’s novels, and when Life magazine published a list of Kennedy’s top ten favourite books, From Russia with Love made the list. So it seemed a natural next choice. In fact, after the film was released, JFK was treated to a special screening of it at the White House. Sadly, the very next day, JFK left on a trip to Texas from which he would not return.

Not only that, From Russia with Love is also the last Bond film Ian Fleming would get to see. He would die the following year, without knowing just how successful the film series would turn out to be.

A somewhat sombre introduction to the film, I’ll admit, but then, this is one of the most serious and realistic of all of the films.

Let’s go.

As the film begins, we see Bond, clad in his tuxedo and with his gun drawn, creeping through a garden maze at night. He’s being stalked by a blond-haired muscular man.

Bond continues making his way through the garden, the blond guy stealthily following him. At one point, Bond catches a glimpse of him, and fires off a shot. He misses.

A brief game of cat-and-mouse ensues, with both men trying to find each other in the dark. Both are armed, Bond with his Walther, and the blond guy with his… watch? Yeah, he keeps a length of piano wire hidden inside his watch. So he’s not just deadly, but punctual, too.

A bit more stalking ensues, and then-

What the hell? The blond guy won? But he was up against James Bond. Nevertheless, Bond is garrotted, and falls to the ground dead. The blond guy carefully tucks his wire back into his watch.

Spotlights suddenly illuminate the area, revealing a large mansion in the background. Several dudes in black have been observing the whole thing. The leader, distinguished by wearing a jacket, comes forward and announces:

“Exactly one minute and fifty-two seconds. That’s excellent.”

He then stoops over “Bond” and pulls off a mask.

What a shocker. Because it was totally believable that they were going to kill off the main character in the first three minutes of the film. Even without knowing that there are several decades’ worth of Bond films to follow, it’s unlikely you really thought Bond had died. Slightly interesting fact: originally, when they shot the scene, it was decided that the guy under the mask looked too much like Sean Connery. They needed someone more visually distinctive, so they got a dude with a moustache to do it instead.

The two men turn away from the body and make their way towards the mansion. And thus ends the first ever pre-credits sequence in a Bond film. Roll titles!

Aaaand it’s straight into naked ladies gyrating. Of course. They didn’t really know what they were doing with the credits in Dr No, but here, they discovered that scantily-clad woman dancing about was a pretty popular thing. This would form the basis for the majority of the credits from now on. Here, at least, there’s a semi-justification: the women are belly-dancers, since the bulk of the film takes place is Turkey. The credits are projected onto their gyrating and pulsating bodies: onto their arms, thighs, bellies, posteriors, and of course their, uh, jiggly bits. It’s actually a rather innovative way of showing the credits, even if it is blatant fanservice. No lyrics at the moment though, the piece is instrumental. There is an actual theme song which we’ll hear later on.

Side note: one of the names on the cast list is “Martin Beswick”. Unfortunately, this is a typo; MartinE Beswick is a woman. The only reason to mention this is because she’ll turn up in a later film, playing a larger part. She’ll also spend a good part of said later film in a bikini, proving that she is definitely a woman.

Onto the film proper. We see an establishing shot of a city. Judging by the gondolas in the foreground, you could probably guess which city it is; and this is promptly confirmed by a cut to a sign informing us that we are watching the “Venice International Grandmasters Championship”. It’s a chess match, the final in fact, with Kronsteen versus MacAdams. Chess is an important metaphor in this film.

One of the players – Kronsteen – makes a move. If you’re not into chess, you probably won’t have the faintest idea what he did; however, the fact that an excited murmur passes through the audience should tell you that Kronsteen has just made a killer move. A waiter comes up to deliver glasses of water to both players. As he sets down Kronsteen’s glass, he hesitates, enough for Kronsteen to take notice. He lifts the glass to see:

Apparently, Cthulhu requires him. Kronsteen looks somewhat unsettled. MacAdams makes his own move. Kronsteen sees his chance and goes in for the kill. MacAdams eyes the board for a moment, but obviously concludes that it’s hopeless; he concedes defeat. Kronsteen practically bolts from the room. He ignores everyone trying to congratulate him; he has somewhere to be.

“Somewhere” turns out to be a fancy yacht. Inside, two people are having a chat: a red-haired, older woman, and a mysterious figure who sits with his back to the camera and strokes a white cat. Yes, as you have probably guessed, this is the first appearance of Ernst Stavro Blofeld, head of SPECTRE and supervillain extraordinaire. His appearance here is minor though; we won’t even see his face for a few films yet.

The woman, as we will soon learn, is Colonel Rosa Klebb. She allegedly works for SMERSH, however, she secretly works for SPECTRE. She is identified as Number 3. All of SPECTRE’s key personnel are designated a number – Blofeld is, of course, Number 1.

Blofeld (never identified by name in this film) is busy explaining a metaphor to Klebb. He has a tank of Siamese fighting fish in the office, and as they watch, two of the fish duke it out while the third keeps back. The third waits until one fish defeats the other, at which point the victor is too exhausted to offer any resistance, at which point the third, like SPECTRE, strikes. This is pretty much a foreshadowing of the plot of the film. Incidentally, the losing fish are then fed to Blofeld’s cat. I’m not sure if that’s part of the metaphor, or if the cat was just hungry.

Kronsteen enters. Unsurprisingly, he is revealed to also be a SPECTRE agent, Number 5, and their Director of Planning. He then kindly spells out SPECTRE’s plan: they’re going to steal a decoding device known as a “Lektor” (not a real thing) from the Russians, using MI6 to do the dirty work. Side note: in the book, the decoder was called the “Spektor”, and the villains were actually SMERSH. In the film, the villains are SPECTRE, and so they decided to rename the device so the name didn’t clash.

The plan will require a beautiful young woman (of course) and Klebb has selected a suitable one: a girl who works in the Russian consulate in Istanbul. Blofeld asks Kronsteen if he’s sure the plan he has devised is foolproof. Kronsteen confidently assures him it is, as he has “anticipated every possible counter-move”. Spoken like a true chess player. Blofeld asks him how he can be so sure that MI6 will take the bait. Two reasons: first, it is so obviously a trap, and apparently the British mentality is that they can never resist a challenge. Secondly, if there’s even the slightest chance of grabbing a Lektor, they’ll take it; they have wanted one for years.

Kronsteen adds that, as an added bonus, MI6 are likely to send James Bond on this assignment. This will allow SPECTRE to get revenge for Doctor No’s death. Blofeld specifies that Bond’s death should be a painful and humiliating one. Kronsteen declares that his plan is foolproof. Well, a villain making a confident proclamation about his plan; I bet things go well for Kronsteen.

And now, over to an almost-naked man sunning himself.

It’s the blond guy from the pre-credits scene. A buxom young woman walks over, strips down to her underwear, and begins massaging him. Of course she does.

This seems more like a scene from a Carry On film, but before Sid James can pop up to make a crude remark, a helicopter arrives. Judging by the mansion, this is the same place the pre-credits scene took place. Klebb arrives in the helicopter and is greeted by the same guy who congratulated the blond man on his efficiency at the start. This guy is called Morzeny, and the actor who plays him is Walter Gotell. I only bring this up because Walter Gotell will have a more prominent role in the Bond films, though it will be quite a while from now and he will be playing a different character. But anyways.

We are on SPECTRE Island, where SPECTRE trains new recruits. Morzeny hands Klebb the file on one of their top agents, an individual called Donald Grant. According to Morzeny, Grant is a “homicidal paranoiac”. So, ideal material for SPECTRE then. Morzeny leads Klebb through the training area, demonstrating that SPECTRE is in the habit of using live targets for their lethal practice. Now there’s a job in serious need of a Union.

They arrive at the lakeside, where the blond guy, aka Grant, is still getting his massage. Morzeny calls Grant over. Klebb looks Grant up and down approvingly, because, well, who wouldn’t?

She then produces a knuckle duster and punches Grant in the stomach. Grant barely flinches. Satisfied, Klebb orders that he report to her in Istanbul the following day, and marches off.

Cut to Istanbul itself. A rather pretty young woman exits the Russian consulate.

She says goodbye to her friends and heads off, looking for an address she has on a piece of paper. What she is unaware of, however, is that Grant is following her. She arrives at the address and knocks on the door.

The door opens, complete with an ominous creak. It’s Klebb, resplendent in her military uniform. The girl identifies herself as Corporal Tatiana Romanova. Klebb goes over her work record and also eyes her up. And I mean eyes her up in the sexual sense. In the film, it’s hinted that Klebb may be a lesbian, especially at one point where she puts her hand on Tatiana’s thigh. On the other hand, in the novel, she openly tries to seduce Tatiana. So yeah, Klebb is canonically a lesbian.

She tells Tatiana about the plan, or rather, tells her what SPECTRE requires her to believe. She is to pretend to have fallen in love with a photo of James Bond, and will offer to steal the Lektor and turn it over to the British, provided Bond comes over in person to meet her and escort her back to England. Tatiana asks what happens if she refuses. Klebb calmly informs her that she will not leave the room alive. Tatiana agrees to undertake this Labour of Love.

The trap is ready. Now all it requires is Bond to walk into it.

PART TWO

Screencaps courtesy of screenmusings.org

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves (From Russia with Love, 1963)

So the villains are busy setting up their complex plans. Meanwhile, Bond is busy romancing a lady. Of course he is.

Several notes to be made about this. Firstly, this is actually the first time we’ve seen Bond, and we’re nearly twenty minutes into the film. This reflects on the novel, which had a similar structure: the first section didn’t feature Bond at all, and instead focussed on the villains setting up their elaborate and complicated plan. It is only in the second half of the book that Bond appears at all, and we see the plan play out. It’s a rather clever way of creating dramatic irony.

The second point is, the film’s theme, as performed by Matt Monro, is head on the radio. Have a listen here. Thirdly, the woman Bond is gettin’ it on with is none other than Sylvia Trench, who we saw in the previous film. Here, much like last time, her romantic rendezvous with Bond is cut short by him having to leave for his assignment. This was planned to be a running gag in the films, but after this one they decided to drop the character.

The final point is that Bond’s car, as seen here, is a Bentley. This was his standard vehicle in the books, although he did drive a few others later on in the series. In the films, he has the Bentley for this film, but it only appears in this scene, and in the next film will be replaced by a certain car that Bond will from then on be associated with.

Anyways, Bond is called away from canoodling Sylvia to make a phone call from his car. A portable phone? What a ridiculous notion.

 It’s Miss Moneypenny. Bond is required in the office ASAP. Sylvia has other ideas though, and it doesn’t take long for Bond to change his mind from “I’ll be there in an hour” to “an hour and a half”. Bond raises the roof of his convertible, giving them some privacy, and Sylvia presumably gets her last ride in the Bentley.

Back in London, Bond arrives in the office and tosses his hat onto the hat rack. He’s ready to begin flirting with Moneypenny; unfortunately for him, M is in the room, glaring at him. Chastised, Bond follows him into the office.

M fills Bond in on the details of the plot we, the audience, are already aware of. Tatiana has apparently fallen in love with Bond’s photo, and is willing to help MI6 acquire the Lektor – on the condition that Bond himself comes to get it, and her as well. M and Bond immediately conclude that it’s a trap, but that the bait is worth going after.

Throughout this scene, M is wearing a suit with a bow tie. And as we all know, that is the outfit of choice for people that are universally recognised as mature and responsible adults.

M hands Bond a snapshot of Tatiana. One glance at it and Bond readily agrees to meet her. As if Bond would turn down the chance of getting it on with a pretty woman. M presses a button and summons in the Equipment Officer from Q-Branch.

Yup, it’s Q, played for the first time by Desmond Llewelyn. This is the iconic, definitive version of the character, and Llewelyn would go on to appear in a total of 17 Bond films, more than any other actor, and worked alongside every Bond before the series was rebooted. Here, his sole purpose is to give Bond his first gadget. It’s a rather ordinary-looking attaché case, with several hidden features. Concealed within it are: fifty gold sovereigns, a small knife, a folding sniper rifle, and ammunition for said rifle. That’s not its best trick, though. There’s a small teargas cartridge planted inside it, and unless the case is opened in a very specific way, it’ll detonate in the face of the person trying to open it. Bond looks somewhat unsure of his new gadget, clearly thinking it’s a bit ridiculous. Oh, Bond, if only you knew what was to come in the future. The attaché case is one of the most sensible gadgets in the whole series.

Bond departs, pausing to try and have a bit of flirtatious banter with Moneypenny. No such luck, as M again cuts him off and orders him to leave the photo of Tatiana behind, as Bond is sure to recognise her. Bond hands the photo over to Moneypenny, writing the words “From Russia with Love” on it. Hey, that’s like the title of the film!

Bond lands in Istanbul. At the airport, he’s greeted by a man who claims he’s his driver. What, again? Bond’s prepared this time, though, and they exchange a password and counter-password.

“Can I borrow a match?”

“I use a lighter.”

“Better still.”

“Until they go wrong.”

Satisfied that this guy is really on his side, Bond leaves, watched by a mysterious guy in glasses. Again. As he exits the airport, he’s also being spied on by Grant.

Bond and his driver head off, tailed by the dude with the glasses. At this point, Bond must be getting a weird sense of déjà vu. However, his driver is not concerned in the slightest; apparently, the Cold War is played a little differently here. Both sides are pretty open about keeping tabs on each other. It all seems very friendly.

Bond is taken to a rug shop. The driver shows him a door hidden behind a hanging rug. Upon opening it, a woman exits, hastily adjusting her bosom. I say! Whoever’s in this room must be a bit of a player! And indeed he is. Meet Kerim Bey:

Played by Pedro Armendáriz, Kerim is by far one of Bond’s most likeable allies. Right from his first conversation with Bond, he’s a very charming guy with a wicked sense of humour, and Bond warms to him instantly. Kerim started off as a circus strongman, and also found time to father a large number of children, all of whom now work for him – including Bond’s driver. He kinda like what Bond would be if he ever retired and settled down. Kerim tells Bond that he’s wasting his time, that the whole thing is obviously a setup. Bond trots out the “but-if-there’s-a-chance-to-get-a-Lektor” argument, rather than confessing his true motivation (that he wants to get it on with Tatiana). Kerim advises him to stick around for a few days, see the sights, and then go home.

Meanwhile, Grant has kidnapped one of the Bulgarians. We’ll catch up with them in a little bit. Bond arrives at his hotel, which has a black-and-white checked floor in the reception area (remember the chess metaphor?). Having been shown his room, Bond does a quick check for hidden bugs, using such sophisticated methods as “looking around” and “checking behind the pictures”.

Sure enough, he finds a very obvious bug behind one of the hanging paintings. He also discovers that the phone has been tapped. He rings reception and asks for another room, and is offered the bridal suite. It’s clear from the manager’s reaction that this was part of the plan in the first place.

Speaking of villains, Grant drops off the now-deceased Bulgarian at the gates of the Russian consulate. A rather provocative gesture, that can only increase tensions in the city – which is exactly what SPECTRE want.

Back in Kerim’s office, he’s trying to work but the same woman from before is making things difficult.

She just will not shut up, practically begging him to do her right there and then. Poor Kerim, it’s so exhausting being the babe magnet he clearly is! He grows tired of the girl’s whining, and decides to give her a seeing to. He embraces her, and seconds later, there’s an explosion. And not in his trousers, but rather, on the wall outside his office. Had he not left the desk when he did, he would have been killed. So choosing sex over work saved his life. Now there’s a useful lesson!

Bond arrives as Kerim and his men are sorting through the wreckage. Turns out there was a limpet mine placed outside Kerim’s office, and it was clearly intended to kill him. Bond begins to make some crude remarks about Kerim’s romantic techniques, but Kerim is more disturbed by the fact that the Russians appear to have broken their truce. Bond suspects his presence might have something to do with it.

Well, they can find out. Kerim leads Bond to an underground reservoir hidden below his office. They make their way along the passage until they are directly underneath the Russian consulate. Apparently, during some construction work on the building, Kerim had a periscope installed, allowing him to spy on the Russians’ meetings. Wait, what? How do the Russians not notice a periscope sticking out of the floor? In the book, it was stated that the periscope was hidden inside a mouse hole. So we can presume that it is similarly concealed here. Either that, or the Russians are blind.

One of the men at the table is getting shouted at. The periscope does not allow them to hear anything, but we can assume that the guy is being given a dressing down by his boss. Kerim recognises the man as Krilencu, a Bulgarian assassin. He deduces that Krilencu was the guy who planted the limpet mine, and is being shouted at because the bomb did not kill Kerim. At this point, the door opens and a pair of legs walks in.

Bond realises that they must belong to Tatiana, and likes what he sees. He doesn’t see her face, but Bond isn’t particularly choosy when it comes to women. Besides which, he’s already seen her photo. He’s looking forward to meeting her in the flesh now. He asks Kerim to get the blueprints for the consulate, since Bond’s mission is actually to retrieve the Lektor, with the legs merely being part of the plot. Kerim agrees to do so, but decides to take time out to decide what to do about Krilencu.

Bond and Kerim head out to a gypsy camp. Kerim is good friends with the gypsies, and they do some work for him. As they arrive, we see that Krilencu and a gang of men has also arrived at the camp. Uh oh.

It seems Bond and Kerim have come visiting on the wrong night. There are two girls, both in love with the same man. “It must be settled the gypsy way,” Kerim declares, somewhat dramatically. They are taken over to meet Vavra, the head of the clan, and are promptly treated to a belly dancer show. Of course they are.

This bit goes on for a few minutes, and you would be forgiven for thinking it’s somewhat gratuitous, because it is. But nowhere near as gratuitous as what happens next.

The two girls are brought out to settle things “the gypsy way”. This involves, well, basically, a catfight. The two girls claw and scratch at one another, tearing at each other’s clothes and rolling around on the ground. Again, it goes on for a bit, and it’s utterly gratuitous. It’s a blatant heterosexual male fantasy, but that’s Ian Fleming for you.

The catfight is interrupted by gunfire. Krilencu’s here to crash the party. A shootout between Krilencu’s men and the gypsies ensues, with Bond and Kerim helping out.

During the battle, Krilencu manages to shoot and wound Kerim in the arm. Bond, meanwhile, saves Vavra’s life. And unbeknownst to Bond, he has a guardian angel: Grant is watching from a vantage point, shooting anyone who tries to kill Bond. After all, the plan requires Bond to be alive, at least for the moment.

Krilencu and his men retreat, having wreaked havoc on the camp. The gypsies have captured one of the Bulgarians, and torture him for information. He confirms that the target of the attack was Kerim Bey. Kerim decides he has to find Krilencu and deal with him. Vavra, meanwhile, is grateful to Bond for saving his life, and declares Bond to be his son. Bond asks him to stop the catfight. Vavra laughs, says Bond is too weak-hearted to be a true gypsy, but will stop the fight. The catch: Bond has to choose which of the girls will be the winner.

For the rest of the night, the two girls fawn over Bond, attending to his every whim. Again, straight male fantasy. It’s not stated onscreen for obvious reasons, but we can assume that Bond has a threesome with them. Afterwards, Bond and Kerim leave the camp, both girls having clearly forgotten about the other guy and fallen in love with Bond. Did you expect anything less?

Now to deal with Krilencu.

PART THREE

Screencaps courtesy of screenmusings.org

Murder on the Orient Express (From Russia with Love, 1963)

Kerim has received information as to the location of Krilencu’s hideout, and he and Bond are now outside it. Kerim has resolved to kill Krilencu, but his arm is injured. Bond offers to do the killing instead. He has brought his folding sniper rifle, which he assembles. Two policemen approach, but it’s okay: they’re two more of Kerim’s sons. They’re going to ring Krilencu’s doorbell. He will flee through his escape hatch, at which point Bond will shoot him. Krilencu’s hideout is behind a large poster for a film called Call Me Bwana.

Kerim’s boys prepare to ring Krilencu’s doorbell. Kerim decides that, injured or not, he wants to pull the trigger, and Bond hands him the rifle. The sons ring the doorbell, and Krilencu’s escape route is revealed: though Anita Ekberg’s mouth. But of course.

Kerim struggles to line up the shot, but finally manages to fire. Krilencu plummets to the ground, dead. Bond makes one of his trademark one-liners:

“She should have kept her mouth shut.”

Bond arrives back at his hotel room. He begins stripping off for a shower, but is vaguely aware that something is amiss. Still, it doesn’t stop him getting his hairy chest out.

He switches on the shower, but then hears a noise from the bedroom. Leaving the shower running, he wraps a towel around his waist, grabs his gun, and moves towards the bedroom. He peers in and sees- my word!

Well, half the audience have just had their fanservice, so it’s only fair that the other half get some too. Tatiana runs across the room, almost completely naked, her various bits on display. You couldn’t get away with this sort of scene in a PG film nowadays, but hey, it was the sixties.

Bond and Tatiana (or “Tania” to her friends) introduce themselves to each other. They both know why they’re here, so it takes all of thirty seconds for them to begin flirting.

“You’re one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen,” says Bond.

“Thank you,” says Tania, “but I think my mouth is too big.”

Bond glances down to see her lick her lips suggestively. “No, it’s the right size,” he says. “For me, that is.” Holy shit, Bond. I really hope the writers meant her mouth was the right size for Bond’s tongue, because otherwise, we’ve got a blowjob joke in a Bond film from the sixties. So much for it being a more innocent time. Bond and Tania kiss, and begin getting it on. Bond wants to talk about the Lektor, but Tania isn’t interested. She says they can discuss it in the morning. Bond agrees, and it’s sexytime.

However, there’s more here than meets the eye. Unknown to either of them, the giant mirror behind the bed is a two-way one, and on the other side is Klebb and a SPECTRE goon, secretly filming the action. Yep, they’re pretty much inventing the sex tape, way before Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson, and are going to use it to humiliate Bond. I would like to reiterate that this is a PG film. A PG film that features explicit nudity, blowjob jokes and sex tapes. Weren’t the sixties awesome?

Hey, did Bond ever go and turn off that shower?

The following day, Tania, as instructed by Bond, visits the Hagia Sofia. Bond is there also, and motions to a particular column. She’s dropping off the plans to the consulate, and she places them in the designated location. However, Bond notices that the dude with the beret and glasses is still stalking them. He prepares to deal with him, but before he can do so, Grant yet again steps in and kills the guy. Bond successfully retrieves the plans.

Back at Kerim’s office, Kerim informs Bond that the Bulgarian’s death was nothing to do with him. Bond concludes that it was probably the Russians, protecting Tania until Bond takes the bait. He’s close, but not quite. They examine Tania’s plans, comparing them with the blueprints, and find them to be the same. She’s been telling the truth so far, but Bond intends to interrogate her about the Lektor as well. Kerim is convinced that Bond is being stupid, and that he’s blinded by Tania’s beauty to the obvious trap. Bond, however, is confident that he knows what he’s doing.

Bond arranges to meet Tania on a ferry. She’s petrified, glancing around, worried they’ll be seen, but Bond is casual and relaxed. He’s got a camera with him, which he instructs Tania to talk into. It’s actually a tape recorder, which will be sent back to M’s office in London.

Prompted by Bond, Tania describes the Lektor in very specific detail, occasionally pausing to flirt with Bond. Later, as M and a group of men are listening to the tape, Moneypenny is listening in, and pouts a bit when Bond flirts back. He begins to relate a story about him and M visiting Tokyo. M hastily shuts off the recorder, looking embarrassed. He orders Miss Moneypenny out of the room. Hmm. I wonder what exactly happened in Tokyo?

Bond receives a message from London: the description Tania gave checks out. It looks like this is the real thing. Bond and Kerim prepare to steal the Lektor. As befits Bond’s style, he chooses the stealthiest and least noticeable method: blowing up the building. Because why the hell not? While everyone is running around in confusion, he runs down to the room Tania works in, and finds her standing next to the Lektor, looking a bit surprised. Well, the building she was in did just explode, after all.

They then meet up with Kerim in the underground tunnel, and flee along it. They pause only for Tania to gasp at some rats.

Lektor acquired, they make their escape in a low-key fashion, by boarding the most one of the most famous trains in the world: The Orient Express. They’re not alone, however; Benz, a security agent from the consulate, sees them and gets on the train. Grant is also lurking on-board as well.

Kerim shows Bond and Tania their compartment, and provides them with their cover identities: David and Caroline Somerset, returning from a business trip. To Tania’s disappointment, they have no children. Bond and Kerim step out into the corridor to discuss the plan. The train will be stopped at the Bulgarian border, where the three of them will get off and be met by Kerim’s sons. From there, they will drive to a nearby airstrip, and catch a plane to Athens. After that, they can fly back to London. Plan sorted, Kerim heads off to speak to the conductor, while Bond pops into the room to do some romancing with Tania.

When Kerim returns to the room, he spots Benz snooping outside the door. He brings Bond out into the corridor to tell him. No problem, though; Bond and Kerim go to his room and take him captive.

Bond leaves Kerim to look after Benz, and Kerim does so with relish. He threatens to tell Benz his life history, which Benz looks less than thrilled about. Bond heads back to the room; as he does so, he walks past Grant without realising.

Back in the compartment, Tania is trying to give herself a moustache, for reasons best known to herself.

Bond enters the room, and presumably enters Tania, as we fade to them post-romancing. Eventually, Bond decides it’s time to go and meet Kerim in the restaurant car. As they do so, however, an attendant rushes up to tell him there’s been a terrible accident. Bond pushes Tania back into the room and goes to see what the problem is.

Sadly, Kerim is dead, as is Benz. The attendant thinks they killed each other, which is quite silly, especially since the audience know that a certain blond-haired assassin was responsible. There’s a real-life sense of poignancy as well: Pedro Armendáriz was terminally ill with cancer during the shooting of this film, and knew he was dying. He did the film so he would have some money to leave to his family. Not long after finishing work on the film, rather than die a slow death, he committed suicide. Fortunately, he will always be remembered: Kerim Bey has gone down as one of Bond’s most memorable allies.

Back on track (literally). Bond bribes the attendant to keep his mouth shut about the deaths. The train fails stop at the border, confusing Kerim’s sons. Bond returns to the compartment, angry. He tells Tania about Kerim’s death and grabs her. He tells her that he knows it’s a trap, and demands to know what’s going on. Tania refuses to speak and so Bond smacks her.

Tania begins crying. She tells him that she genuinely didn’t know that Kerim was going to be killed, and that she cannot tell him the truth, even if he kills her. The only thing she will confess is that she has fallen in love with Bond. Seeing that he isn’t getting anywhere, Bond leaves her in the room.

The train arrives at Beograd (Belgrade), capital of Yugoslavia (now capital of Serbia). Bond alights from the train and moves up the platform, unaware that Grant is following closely. He meets with one of Kerim’s many sons. After exchanging the passphrases, Bond informs the man of his father’s death. Bond asks him to send a message to M and have an MI6 agent meet them in Zagreb. He hands the man a few of Kerim’s personal effects, and boards the train again. Unbeknownst to him, Grant has heard the whole thing.

The train arrives at its next stop, Zagreb. This time, Grant steps off the train. He approaches a man with an attaché case. It’s worth noting that, at this point, we haven’t heard Grant speak. He talks with the man but his voice is drowned out by the train’s whistle. However, from his gestures, we can tell what he’s doing: he’s giving the passphrases to the man. Grant then leads the man into the public toilets. Er, okay.

Shortly after, Grant emerges from the toilets alone, in possession of the man’s hat and attaché case. At this point, Bond emerges from the train. Grant approaches him, and gives the password. Bond gets on the train with Grant, believing him to be a fellow MI6 agent.

Oh dear.

PART FOUR

Screencaps courtesy of screenmusings.org

Where There's Smoke... (From Russia with Love, 1963)

On board, we finally hear Grant’s voice. He introduces himself as “Nash, Captain Nash” in a rather posh, English accent. It’s clear that Bond doesn’t fully trust him, and he subtly tests him. Grant passes, however, and Bond takes him to the compartment.

Bond explains the situation. “Nash” tells him not to worry, that he’ll get them back to London okay, but requests that they have a bite to eat first. Bond agrees he sends him on ahead with Tania. After they leave, Bond investigates the attaché case Nash was carrying, and finds it to be the same as his, confirming that he’s MI6.

In the restaurant car, Bond and Grant make small talk. They all order grilled sole, with Grant asking for a red Chianti. The meal passes amicably, apart from one moment where Grant “accidentally” knocks Tania’s glass over. As he’s refilling it for her, he slips some tablets in.

Shortly after that, they head back to the compartment. Tania complains of not feeling well, and passes out. They lay her on the bed and move to the other compartment. At this point, Bond tells Grant he knows that Tania was drugged by him, and pulls his gun out. Grant plays it off as being necessary to the plan: they can escape with either Tania or the Lektor, but not both. This sounds reasonable, and Bond drops his guard. Grant takes the opportunity and whacks him on the back of the head.

Bond falls to the floor, stunned. In an instant, Grant switches from a smarmy, upper-class twat to an ice-cold psychopath. He loots Bond’s body, then stands back as Bond regains his consciousness. Held at gunpoint, Bond is ordered to get on his knees and put his hands in his pockets. Bond observes:

“Red wine with fish. That should have told me something.”

Ah yes, ordering the wrong sort of wine. A classic faux pas. I didn’t realise part of MI6 training was to be a wine snob. Bond, thinking he’s got Grant figured out, casually tells him that he knows he works for SMERSH. Grant corrects him, and Bond realises at last that the true villains are SPECTRE. He also realises that SPECTRE have been playing both sides off against each other. Grant admits to being responsible for pretty much all the murders up to this point. He also tells Bond that he saved his life at the gypsy camp, and more or less explains the entire plan to Bond – including the fact that Tania is not in on it, she thinks she’s working for Mother Russia. And both Bond and Tania are now expendable. Grant also drops Klebb’s name and shows Bond the sex tape.

At this point, you probably are wondering why Grant is telling Bond all this, as opposed to simply shooting him, which is the next part of the plan. There is an answer, though: Grant may be a stone-cold killer, but he also is egotistical, narcissistic, and greedy. He’s getting a kick out of telling Bond what an idiot he’s been, and is enjoying his gloating. Needless to say, this is going to be his downfall.

Bond, sensing that Grant may have a mercenary approach to his work, offers to pay him off. Grant doesn’t take the bait. Bond instead requests a cigarette, which Grant also denies. Bond then offers to pay fifty gold sovereigns for it. Grant hesitates. He asks where the money is. Bond tells him it’s in his attaché case. Grant tosses the case to Bond, who opens it and produces the money.

And then Grant gets a bit too greedy for his own good, as Bond suspected he would. Grant asks if there are any more in Nash’s case. Bond admits that there probably are, since the attaché case is standard issue. He quickly grabs the case to open it, but Grant stops him, knowing that there’s a gun in the case. Grant instead opens the case himself. Of course, Bond wasn’t after the gun; he wanted to trick Grant into opening the case and setting off the teargas. Grant opens the case the wrong way and it explodes in his face.

What follows is one of the best fights in cinematic history.

Forget over-the-top, expertly-choreographed martial arts. This is two men beating the crap out of each other. The fight is brutal, close-quarters, no-holds-barred combat.

Ultimately, Grant attempts to strangle Bond with his garrotte watch. Bond manages to get the knife hidden in the attaché case, which he uses to stab Grant in the arm. This causes Grant to falter long enough for Bond to turn the tables and use the deadly watch against its owner, choking him. Grant finally dies.

Exhausted, Bond retrieves his belongings from Grant – including the sex tape – and goes to wake Tania up, now knowing that she is innocent (well, not as guilty as he thought, anyway). He feels the train slowing down and realises what is happening – it’s Grant’s escape plan. Time to get off!

The route is temporarily blocked by a truck. Tania is groggy, but Bond manhandles her off the train. Once it moves on, he sneaks up on Grant’s cohort, and knocks him out. He ties the man up and places him in the truck, then bundles Tania into the back on top of a load of flowers.

As another day dawns, Bond, Tania and Random Mook are travelling across country when trouble arrives: a SPECTRE helicopter flies overhead, presumably dispatched to find out what has become of Grant. They see Tania in the back and realise that something is up. They motion to Bond to stop. Bond, obviously, ignores them and keeps going. Seeing that something a little less subtle is required, the SPECTRE goons try a new tactic: grenades! They drop the grenades in an attempt to disable the truck. It works, and Bond is forced to stop. He instructs Tania to hide under the truck while he draws their attention. He takes off on foot, armed with his attaché case and folding sniper rifle.

The helicopter tries to run Bond over, and on a few occasions, very nearly succeeds.

Bond manages to find a small hollow created by two rocks, and uses it for cover. As the helicopter circles around for another attack, Bond assembles his rifle. The helicopter hovers directly overhead and the mook prepares to drop another grenade. Bond is faster, though, and shoots him in the arm, causing him to drop the grenade – inside the helicopter.

Enemies dispatched, Bond reunites with the now-awake Tania and they drive off. Arriving at a small dock, they hop onto a boat, Bond pausing to nick the keys off the truck driver. He takes the goon onto the boat with them, but shortly after setting off, he tosses the poor chump into the water. Tania checks a locker and finds some charts and a flare gun. Bond examines the charts and plots their course. Destination: Venice.

Leaving Bond and Tania for a moment, we cut back to see what SPECTRE are up to. News of Grant’s death has reached them, and Blofeld is not a happy bunny. Kronsteen and Klebb try to place the blame on one another. Blofeld, however, has already made up his mind as to who is responsible. Morzeny enters. He presses one shoe against the other, and out pops a small blade.

Blofeld makes it very clear – if you fail SPECTRE, this is what happens:

Kronsteen, Blofeld feels, was responsible for the failure, and a bit of an arrogant bastard to boot. So he literally gets the boot. The blade is tipped with venom, and Kronsteen dies in twelve seconds flat. Blofeld casually remarks that they should find a faster-working venom. He then speaks to Klebb, who is looking positively terrified. He orders her to retrieve the Lektor, no matter what. Klebb, trembling, tells him she will do so.

Back with Bond and Tania, who are merrily sailing along. Their happiness is short-lived, however, as Morzeny turns up with a flotilla of SPECTRE goons to ruin their day. Bond takes evasive action. The mooks open fire on them. Bullets rake across the back of Bond’s boat, puncturing all of the drums of fuel. Bond gets an idea. He releases the drums and they all fall into the water. When Morzeny catches up to them, he orders the SPECTRE boats to slow down to investigate. This is exactly what Bond wants. He grabs the flare pistol and takes aim at the fuel drums. You can probably guess what happens next.

All the SPECTRE boats are instantly aflame. They explode, with Morzeny dying a fiery death. Bond remarks:

“There’s a saying in England: where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

Later, Bond and Tania have arrived safely in Venice. They’re enjoying themselves in a hotel room, and are ready to depart. As Bond is getting his stuff together, a strangely-familiar maid enters to tidy up. The phone rings and Bond answers. Tania walks in and sees the “maid”. She freezes. The maid attempts to walk off with the Lektor, but Bond stops her. He turns away for a moment. Then he looks back and sees:

Why, that’s no maid! It’s actually Rosa Klebb, making a last-ditch attempt to steal the Lektor! She orders Bond to put the phone down and he does so. He raises his arms in surrender. Klebb orders Tania to get the door. Tania hesitates, but does as she is told. Klebb hands her the Lektor and Tania leaves. Klebb prepares to shoot Bond.

Wham! Tania comes bursting back through the door, knocking the gun out of Klebb’s hand. Tania throws herself on the pistol, preventing Klebb from getting it. Bond moves forward, but Klebb has another trick up her sleeve, or rather, in her shoe:

She’s wearing the knife-shoes. Bond grabs a chair and pins her to the wall, while she flails at him, trying to kick him. Meanwhile, Tania grabs the gun. She takes aim, but who to shoot? Klebb, saving the love of her life? Or Bond, following orders from Mother Russia? She pauses, torn, but then realises where her heart truly lies:

With an agonised cry, Klebb dies. Bond sits on the chair, relieved.

“Horrible woman,” says Tania.

“Yes,” Bond replies. “She’s had her kicks.”

With Klebb dead, Bond and Tania are safe. As the theme song kicks in, they cuddle in a gondola. Bond moves in for a kiss, but Tania is embarrassed: there are people watching. This reminds Bond of one loose end. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the sex tape he took off Grant. Looking at the reel, he seems impressed with the contents. Well, he would be. He tosses the reel into the water, waves it goodbye, and sinks out of frame with Tania.

And thus concludes Bond’s second mission. Like I said, this is one of the most realistic ones. More so than Dr No, it sticks very closely to the plot of the novel, and is very much a Cold War spy thriller. It is generally very highly rated, and features a more complex and intelligent plot that many later Bond films. Although the Bond films wouldn’t evolve into what is traditionally thought of as a “Bond film” until the next one, still, this film has all the classic elements Dr No introduced and more besides. We have exotic locations, a beautiful girl, a group of cold, calculating villains, and several exciting set pieces. It also builds on what Dr No started. We learn more about SPECTRE, the villainous organisation Doctor No worked for; we meet a villain who is actually a physical rather than mental threat to Bond; it introduces Q as we know him, who provides Bond with his first proper gadget; and it features both a pre-credits scene and a theme song. All these would become standard in subsequent films. All in all, this is a classic Bond film.

But the next one is where things really kick off.

JAMES BOND WILL RETURN IN

GOLDFINGER

For cast and crew details, check here

Screencaps courtesy of screenmusings.org