So the villains are busy setting up their complex plans. Meanwhile,
Bond is busy romancing a lady. Of course he is.
Several notes to be made about this. Firstly, this is
actually the first time we’ve seen Bond, and we’re nearly twenty minutes into
the film. This reflects on the novel, which had a similar structure: the first
section didn’t feature Bond at all, and instead focussed on the villains
setting up their elaborate and complicated plan. It is only in the second half
of the book that Bond appears at all, and we see the plan play out. It’s a
rather clever way of creating dramatic irony.
The second point is, the film’s theme, as performed by Matt Monro, is head on the radio. Have a listen here.
Thirdly, the woman Bond is gettin’ it on with is none other than Sylvia Trench,
who we saw in the previous film. Here, much like last time, her romantic
rendezvous with Bond is cut short by him having to leave for his assignment.
This was planned to be a running gag in the films, but after this one they
decided to drop the character.
The final point is that Bond’s car, as seen here, is a
Bentley. This was his standard vehicle in the books, although he did drive a
few others later on in the series. In the films, he has the Bentley for this
film, but it only appears in this scene, and in the next film will be replaced
by a certain car that Bond will from then on be associated with.
Anyways, Bond is called away from canoodling Sylvia to make
a phone call from his car. A portable phone? What a ridiculous notion.
It’s Miss Moneypenny.
Bond is required in the office ASAP. Sylvia has other ideas though, and it
doesn’t take long for Bond to change his mind from “I’ll be there in an hour”
to “an hour and a half”. Bond raises the roof of his convertible, giving them
some privacy, and Sylvia presumably gets her last ride in the Bentley.
Back in London, Bond arrives in the office and tosses his
hat onto the hat rack. He’s ready to begin flirting with Moneypenny;
unfortunately for him, M is in the room, glaring at him. Chastised, Bond
follows him into the office.
M fills Bond in on the details of the plot we, the audience,
are already aware of. Tatiana has apparently fallen in love with Bond’s photo,
and is willing to help MI6 acquire the Lektor – on the condition that Bond
himself comes to get it, and her as well. M and Bond immediately conclude that
it’s a trap, but that the bait is worth going after.
Throughout this scene, M is wearing a suit with a bow tie.
And as we all know, that is the outfit of choice for people that are
universally recognised as mature and responsible adults.
M hands Bond a snapshot of Tatiana. One glance at it and Bond
readily agrees to meet her. As if Bond would turn down the chance of getting it
on with a pretty woman. M presses a button and summons in the Equipment Officer
from Q-Branch.
Yup, it’s Q, played for the first time by Desmond Llewelyn.
This is the iconic, definitive version of the character, and Llewelyn would go
on to appear in a total of 17 Bond films, more than any other actor, and worked
alongside every Bond before the series was rebooted. Here, his sole purpose is
to give Bond his first gadget. It’s a rather ordinary-looking attaché case,
with several hidden features. Concealed within it are: fifty gold sovereigns, a
small knife, a folding sniper rifle, and ammunition for said rifle. That’s not
its best trick, though. There’s a small teargas cartridge planted inside it,
and unless the case is opened in a very specific way, it’ll detonate in the
face of the person trying to open it. Bond looks somewhat unsure of his new
gadget, clearly thinking it’s a bit ridiculous. Oh, Bond, if only you knew what
was to come in the future. The attaché case is one of the most sensible gadgets
in the whole series.
Bond departs, pausing to try and have a bit of flirtatious
banter with Moneypenny. No such luck, as M again cuts him off and orders him to
leave the photo of Tatiana behind, as Bond is sure to recognise her. Bond hands
the photo over to Moneypenny, writing the words “From Russia with Love” on it.
Hey, that’s like the title of the film!
Bond lands in Istanbul. At the airport, he’s greeted by a
man who claims he’s his driver. What, again? Bond’s prepared this time, though,
and they exchange a password and counter-password.
“Can I borrow a match?”
“I use a lighter.”
“Better still.”
“Until they go wrong.”
Satisfied that this guy is really on his side, Bond leaves,
watched by a mysterious guy in glasses. Again. As he exits the airport, he’s
also being spied on by Grant.
Bond and his driver head off, tailed by the dude with the
glasses. At this point, Bond must be getting a weird sense of déjà vu. However,
his driver is not concerned in the slightest; apparently, the Cold War is played
a little differently here. Both sides are pretty open about keeping tabs on
each other. It all seems very friendly.
Bond is taken to a rug shop. The driver shows him a door
hidden behind a hanging rug. Upon opening it, a woman exits, hastily adjusting
her bosom. I say! Whoever’s in this room must be a bit of a player! And indeed
he is. Meet Kerim Bey:
Played by Pedro Armendáriz, Kerim is by far one of Bond’s most likeable
allies. Right from his first conversation with Bond, he’s a very charming guy
with a wicked sense of humour, and Bond warms to him instantly. Kerim started
off as a circus strongman, and also found time to father a large number of
children, all of whom now work for him – including Bond’s driver. He kinda like
what Bond would be if he ever retired and settled down. Kerim tells Bond that
he’s wasting his time, that the whole thing is obviously a setup. Bond trots
out the “but-if-there’s-a-chance-to-get-a-Lektor” argument, rather than
confessing his true motivation (that he wants to get it on with Tatiana). Kerim
advises him to stick around for a few days, see the sights, and then go home.
Meanwhile, Grant has kidnapped one of the Bulgarians. We’ll
catch up with them in a little bit. Bond arrives at his hotel, which has a
black-and-white checked floor in the reception area (remember the chess
metaphor?). Having been shown his room, Bond does a quick check for hidden
bugs, using such sophisticated methods as “looking around” and “checking behind
the pictures”.
Sure enough, he finds a very obvious bug behind one of the
hanging paintings. He also discovers that the phone has been tapped. He rings
reception and asks for another room, and is offered the bridal suite. It’s
clear from the manager’s reaction that this was part of the plan in the first
place.
Speaking of villains, Grant drops off the now-deceased
Bulgarian at the gates of the Russian consulate. A rather provocative gesture,
that can only increase tensions in the city – which is exactly what SPECTRE
want.
Back in Kerim’s office, he’s trying to work but the same
woman from before is making things difficult.
She just will not shut up, practically begging him to do her
right there and then. Poor Kerim, it’s so exhausting being the babe magnet he
clearly is! He grows tired of the girl’s whining, and decides to give her a
seeing to. He embraces her, and seconds later, there’s an explosion. And not in
his trousers, but rather, on the wall outside his office. Had he not left the
desk when he did, he would have been killed. So choosing sex over work saved
his life. Now there’s a useful lesson!
Bond arrives as Kerim and his men are sorting through the
wreckage. Turns out there was a limpet mine placed outside Kerim’s office, and
it was clearly intended to kill him. Bond begins to make some crude remarks
about Kerim’s romantic techniques, but Kerim is more disturbed by the fact that
the Russians appear to have broken their truce. Bond suspects his presence
might have something to do with it.
Well, they can find out. Kerim leads Bond to an underground
reservoir hidden below his office. They make their way along the passage until
they are directly underneath the Russian consulate. Apparently, during some
construction work on the building, Kerim had a periscope installed, allowing
him to spy on the Russians’ meetings. Wait, what? How do the Russians not
notice a periscope sticking out of the floor? In the book, it was stated
that the periscope was hidden inside a mouse hole. So we can presume that it is
similarly concealed here. Either that, or the Russians are blind.
One of the men at the table is getting shouted at. The
periscope does not allow them to hear anything, but we can assume that the guy is
being given a dressing down by his boss. Kerim recognises the man as Krilencu,
a Bulgarian assassin. He deduces that Krilencu was the guy who planted the
limpet mine, and is being shouted at because the bomb did not kill Kerim. At
this point, the door opens and a pair of legs walks in.
Bond realises that they must belong to Tatiana, and likes
what he sees. He doesn’t see her face, but Bond isn’t particularly choosy when
it comes to women. Besides which, he’s already seen her photo. He’s looking
forward to meeting her in the flesh now. He asks Kerim to get the blueprints
for the consulate, since Bond’s mission is actually to retrieve the Lektor,
with the legs merely being part of the plot. Kerim agrees to do so, but decides
to take time out to decide what to do about Krilencu.
Bond and Kerim head out to a gypsy camp. Kerim is good
friends with the gypsies, and they do some work for him. As they arrive, we see
that Krilencu and a gang of men has also arrived at the camp. Uh oh.
It seems Bond and Kerim have come visiting on the wrong
night. There are two girls, both in love with the same man. “It must be settled
the gypsy way,” Kerim declares, somewhat dramatically. They are taken over to
meet Vavra, the head of the clan, and are promptly treated to a belly dancer
show. Of course they are.
This bit goes on for a few minutes, and you would be
forgiven for thinking it’s somewhat gratuitous, because it is. But nowhere near
as gratuitous as what happens next.
The two girls are brought out to settle things “the gypsy
way”. This involves, well, basically, a catfight. The two girls claw and
scratch at one another, tearing at each other’s clothes and rolling around on
the ground. Again, it goes on for a bit, and it’s utterly gratuitous. It’s a
blatant heterosexual male fantasy, but that’s Ian Fleming for you.
The catfight is interrupted by gunfire. Krilencu’s here to
crash the party. A shootout between Krilencu’s men and the gypsies ensues, with
Bond and Kerim helping out.
During the battle, Krilencu manages to shoot and wound Kerim
in the arm. Bond, meanwhile, saves Vavra’s life. And unbeknownst to Bond, he
has a guardian angel: Grant is watching from a vantage point, shooting anyone
who tries to kill Bond. After all, the plan requires Bond to be alive, at least
for the moment.
Krilencu and his men retreat, having wreaked havoc on the
camp. The gypsies have captured one of the Bulgarians, and torture him for
information. He confirms that the target of the attack was Kerim Bey. Kerim
decides he has to find Krilencu and deal with him. Vavra, meanwhile, is
grateful to Bond for saving his life, and declares Bond to be his son. Bond asks
him to stop the catfight. Vavra laughs, says Bond is too weak-hearted to be a
true gypsy, but will stop the fight. The catch: Bond has to choose which of the
girls will be the winner.
For the rest of the night, the two girls fawn over Bond,
attending to his every whim. Again, straight male fantasy. It’s not stated
onscreen for obvious reasons, but we can assume that Bond has a threesome with
them. Afterwards, Bond and Kerim leave the camp, both girls having clearly
forgotten about the other guy and fallen in love with Bond. Did you expect
anything less?
Now to deal with Krilencu.
Screencaps courtesy of
screenmusings.org
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